Opposites attract
Welcome to Communitea Property, a monthly series about prenups couples actually sign and the big decisions these agreements surface. We share real clauses and real context showing how partners use a prenup to navigate life’s most consequential decisions from housing, finances, family, health, caregiving, and careers.
Today: a late‑30s couple in Irvine, CA—a Senior PM at a FAANG company and a dentist—who married within a year and reconciled “merge it all” vs. “keep everything separate” so they could start a family.
Editor’s note: Names have been changed to protect privacy. These stories are not legal advice and we recommend you seek out a family law attorney for representation regarding a prenuptial agreement.
Name: Katie and Jason
Location: Irvine, California
Age: late 30s
Occupations: Katie: Senior PM (FAANG); Jason: Dentist
Own v. Rent: Own (Jason)
Joint Bank Account: Yes
Dependents: 1
The big disagreement - “merge it all” vs. “keep everything separate”
Agreeing on a money model can be tough—and it evolves. Katie and Jason wanted to do a “cannonball run” of their premarried life so they could start a family, but their opposing views on a prenup brought things to a hard stop.
Katie’s Perspective - Merge It All
“When it comes to our assets, we should be a team and merge everything we have so we can grow together. My parents just recently celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary. I know what a lifelong marriage looks like, and part of that partnership is sharing what you have. Not doing so suggests to me that we aren’t going to make things last.”
Neptune Insight: Merging every dollar into one account doesn’t determine your tax filing status. Spouses can still file Married Filing Separately (MFS); filing is driven by income and tax rules, not account structure.
Jason’s Perspective - Keep Everything Separate
“My parents have been married and divorced… twice. Every time they went through the divorce process, it was just one issue after another with constant financial hurdles. I worked hard for all that I have, and I know we work well together, but ‘what’s mine is mine, what’s yours is yours’ should work out fine for us both. That includes alimony and spousal support - that feels like planning for us to fail.”
Neptune Insight: Jason can include a spousal support waiver in the prenup, but enforceability isn’t guaranteed as some states are more stringent than others. Judges often review the clause to make sure it is fair and lawful at the time of divorce, not just at the time the agreement was signed.
Katie and Jason had very different perspectives on money but instead of ending their family planning, the conversations regarding their prenup became the catalyst for the rest of their lives together.
What We Did Next
Day One: Have the conversation
Katie and Jason advocated for what they personally believed was the right thing to do. When they presented the opposite solution to each other, both parties felt insulted. They decided to take a break from the conversation and to reconvene with level heads the next day.
Day Two: Talk about the why
They set aside positions and dug into why they both felt so strongly. They realized it was the same on both sides: both were scared that the other could leave the family, especially knowing they were accelerating their timeline.
They both wanted to ensure their future together was based on a shared interest in building a stable family plan.
Day Three: Discuss it with an attorney
Katie and Jason spoke with their attorney. Katie was scared that things would go poorly again, but found the opposite to be true:
"I worried the attorneys would think we were high maintenance, with so many customizations, but they were great thought partners and made it clear that it's our marriage and our document," said Katie. "The prenup helped us feel safer with our choice to start a family together."
Within a few weeks, their prenup was finalized.
Put It in Writing: The Clauses They Chose
1) A joint account for child‑related expenses.
A dedicated account to fund the essentials - childcare, education, extracurriculars - with agreed‑upon funding rules that they could evolve over time with changing family needs.
2) A meaningful but capped lump sum spousal support payment in lieu of ongoing support.
If they divorce, a single payment for spousal support that acknowledges the partnership while keeping obligations clear and finite.
3) A vesting schedule to create community property gradually over 20 years.
A plan that turns a defined portion of assets into community property on a defined timeline.
In short, the best of both worlds for Katie and Jason.
Any last thoughts?
One priority they couldn’t address in the prenup: child custody and child support. A court must determine child support based on the best interests of the child at the time of a divorce.
A well-crafted prenup will ensure you are on the same page as to prioritizing how you save for the future together, ensuring that your priorities are set from the moment you say “I do” (even if it’s just one year after you swiped right.)
Curious how a prenup could help you and your partner align on money decisions? Check out our free chatbot to learn more about the process.
