Opposites attract

Welcome to Communitea Property, a monthly series about prenups couples actually sign and the big decisions these agreements surface. We share real clauses and real context showing how partners use a prenup to navigate life’s most consequential decisions from housing, finances, family, health, caregiving, and careers.

Today: a late‑30s couple in Irvine, CA—a Senior PM at a FAANG company and a dentist—who married within a year and reconciled “merge it all” vs. “keep everything separate” so they could start a family.

Editor’s note: Names have been changed to protect privacy. These stories are not legal advice and we recommend you seek out a family law attorney for representation regarding a prenuptial agreement.

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Name: Katie and Jason

Location: Irvine, California

Age: late 30s

Occupations: Katie: Senior PM (FAANG); Jason: Dentist

Own v. Rent: Own (Jason)

Joint Bank Account: Yes

Dependents: 1

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The big disagreement - “merge it all” vs. “keep everything separate” 

Agreeing on a money model can be tough, especially when it involves family planning. Katie and Jason wanted to do a “cannonball run” of their premarried life so they could start a family, but their opposing views on a prenup brought things to a hard stop.

Katie’s Perspective - Merge It All

“When it comes to our assets, we should be a team and merge everything we have so we can grow together. 

My parents just recently celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary. I know what a lifelong marriage looks like, and part of that partnership is sharing what you have. 

Not doing so suggests to me that we aren’t going to make things last.”

Neptune Insight: One of the primary questions couples have is how to merge their finances when they are married. Whether you have a prenup or not, some couples choose to keep everything separate, some choose to merge everything, and others do something in between.  

Jason’s Perspective - Keep Everything Separate 

“My parents have been married and divorced… twice. Every time they went through the divorce process, it was just one issue after another with constant financial hurdles. 

I worked hard for all that I have, and I know we work well together, but ‘what’s mine is mine, what’s yours is yours’ should work out fine for us both. 

That includes alimony - setting terms there feels like planning for us to fail.”

Neptune Insight: Spousal support waivers can be included in a prenup, but enforceability isn’t guaranteed as some states, including California, are more stringent than others. Judges often review the clause to make sure it is fair and lawful, at the time of divorce, not just at the time the agreement is signed.

Both Katie and Jason’s perspectives on money differed quite a bit due to their lived experiences, but instead of ending their cannonball run, the conversations regarding their prenup became the catalyst for the partnership they would build. 

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What We Did Next

Day One: Have the conversation

When Katie and Jason started the prenup conversation, they each individually advocated for what they personally believed was the right thing to do. When they presented the opposite solution to each other, both parties felt insulted. 

Instead of talking over each other, they decided to take a break from the conversation and to reconvene with level heads the next day.

Day Two: Talk about the why

They set aside positions and took the time to sig into why they both felt so strongly. It was important for them to understand the other’s perspective. 

They realized it was the same on both sides: both were scared that the other could leave the family, especially knowing they were accelerating their timeline for kids. 

They both wanted to ensure their future together was based on a shared interest in building a stable family plan.

Day Three: Discuss it with an attorney

Katie and Jason each spoke with their own attorneys. Katie was scared that things would go poorly again, but found the opposite to be true: 

 "I worried the attorneys would think we were high maintenance, with so many customizations, but they were great thought partners and made it clear that it's our marriage and our document," said Katie, "The prenup helped us feel safer with our choice to start a family together."

Within a few weeks, their prenup was finalized.

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Put It in Writing: The Clauses They Chose

1) A joint account for child‑related expenses.

A dedicated joint account to fund the essentials - childcare, education, extracurriculars - with agreed‑upon funding rules that they could evolve over time with changing family needs.

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2) A meaningful but capped lump sum spousal support payment in lieu of ongoing support.

If they divorce, a single payment for spousal support that acknowledges the partnership while keeping obligations clear and finite.

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3) A schedule to create community property gradually over 20 years.

A vesting plan of sorts that turns a defined portion of assets into community property on a defined timeline.

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In short, the best of both worlds for Katie and Jason.